Week 30, Day 4

Dreaming of Baby T

Last night I had one of the most vivid dreams I’ve ever dreamt my entire life.
I don’t know where it came from or why I dreamt it, but it was one of those dreams you never want to wake from, as if you’re seeing yourself live another life. It started off with me giving birth …. but in my dream, I skipped the actual labour part. Subconsciously I guess I didn’t even want to imagine what that will be like since I don’t recall any pain in my dream. All I remember is sitting in the hospital bed with my baby boy in my arms. He was perfect. The most perfect thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I remember looking at his face, he had long curly hair, reminded me of a tiny surfer, a long narrow body, tiny little hands with even tinier little fingers and tiny little toes which I counted 1 by 1. He was wrapped up in a yellow hospital blanket and he even opened his eyes to look at me at one point. He looked a lot like his father, but I could see a lot of me in him as well. The curly hair comes from my side but the long body frame is a Lee thing. I remember his face like it had been imprinted in my brain.

The dream continued with me at the hospital, my mom came to visit and she was helping me breast feed for the first time. He tried but had a few misses in the beginning. It took a little while for him to get the hang of things but once he did, he was a champion drinker. I remember the sensation, the feeling of him latched on to me. A kind of tickle while pulling sensation, and as he got more aggressive the tickle slowly turned into a harder pulling which turned into a hard sucking resulting in discomfort. But every time I looked down, the pain went away as I saw his tiny little face, his perfect little face. I not only gave him life, but now I was providing him with the nurishment to live.

They say you have vivid dreams when you’re pregnant but this one was so unreal. Now I wonder where I got this image of my son from, is this what I think he’ll look like? Or is this really what he will look like? I’m so curious now, what will he look like. Who will he be?

As the days grow closer to our actually meeting, with this being my 31st week I have 9 more weeks to go. I’m so anxious to meet him now I can’t stand it!

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