Week 35, Day 2

To Snip or Not To Snip


After posting on circumcision the other day I received A LOT of comments and emails regarding the topic from both moms with sons circumcised and not, men who are and are not circumcised and probably a handful of people just wanting to share their ideas and opinions on the topic. Didn’t think it was such a hot topic but apparently it is!

We haven’t made up our minds yet as to whether or not we’re going to go through with the procedure after little Nate is born, however we are definitely thinking things through a little more now and doing more research on the topic as there seems to be so many things we didn’t take into consideration. I ultimately feel that making a decision like this shouldn’t come from mom or dad, rather it should be something our boy makes on his own when he knows what he wants and is able to make the decision for himself … however, like I said before, it’s a toss up right now. I guess we still have some time to think it through and that’s exactly what we’ll do …

Thanks to everyone who left comments and or advice on the topic. It definitely helped open our eyes a little more!

Having a boy is great, but the decision to snip or not to snip has been a hard one for me. Daddy thinks it’s best to get it done early (after his birth) so he has no recollection of it and can heal within the time his cord stump falls off, but I have my reservations. There was an interesting article about circumcision in Time Magazine. In 1965, 85% of new-born babies were circumcised. It has been a down trend since then. 77% in 1971, 65% in 1979 and finally 57% in 2005. It’s probably going to be below 50% in less than a decade.

The anti-circumcision group claims that the procedure will leave the baby psychically scarred and sexually disadvantaged. Some medical professionals even consider the procedure genital mutilation. These parents want to keep their baby fully intact, just like how God created them. They also claim that sometimes boys get genital disorders due to botched circumcision.

The pro-circumcision group claims that uncut boys are at a greater risk for kidney infection as infants. And for penile cancer, foreskin disorders, HIV, and other STDs as adults. Another big factor is the dad. If the dad was cut or uncut, he’ll probably want the same for his baby. Personally, I’m not 100% sure yet. I know of many men who are not circumcised and have had healthy sex lives with no issues with locker room bullying or feeling different and I also know many men who are circumcised that say they’re grateful it was done at infancy. I need to look a little farther into this issue. I do like the idea of keeping the baby fully intact, but I want the baby to be 100% healthy too, even later in life. Ideally, I would want this to be a decision our little Nate makes when he’s old enough to make it on his own, but in the same I don’t know how he would feel about getting a procedure like this done later on in life when the pain and the idea of it is more real!

Moms … any suggestions??? What are your thoughts on circumcision???


30 Responses

  1. I happen to be extremely against circumcision. However, I’m not going to bombard you with facts. I’m sure the anti-circumcision crowd has already filled you in on how the “health benefits” are a load of crap anyway, and on the significant risks of such a painful unneccesary procedure.

    What I am going to say is this: You clearly have reservations about having it done and your instincts are telling you it is your son’s choice to make. If you get it done, you will probably live with regret, possibly for the rest of your life, and especially if something goes wrong or he resents you for it. There is no going back. If you choose to let him decide then he can always have it done later on, even if you, for whatever reason, have it done to him as a child, he can be put to sleep for the procedure and given pain medication afterwards.

    I think you already pretty much know what you should do and you are making a good decision.

  2. Please don’t do it. I wish I had the information I do now before my first son was born. He was circumcised. I regret not being educated. Its an arbitrary genital reduction surgery. The word “circumcision” is a euphemism. See it for what it really is. I’ve since given birth to two more sons. They still have their whole penis and never had any problems with their complete genitalia. My first son has meatal stenosis. This is a condition effecting only boys who have had the surgery. The urologist said, “Because the foreskin isn’t there to protect his meatus (where the urine expels), the meatus began to close up.” The foreskin is there for a good reason!

    There is nothing wrong with your son’s penis. Being born with an incomplete penis is known as a congenital birth defect, “Apothsia”. Why anyone would redesign what the human blueprint had already designed by default so the genitals resembles a BIRTH DEFECT is bewildering. Hygene: smegma is the Greek word for soap. Girls have loads more of this stuff yet no one is electing to cut her bits off. Oh yeah, I guess thats because everyone thinks girls are smarter than boys. yes/no? Your son WILL be smart enough to clean his own penis. I mean, really? How hard is it to Retract Rinse Replace? I think we can trust our teenage sons to clean their penis.
    On the other hand, since the prepuce organ is firmly attached to the head of the penis (glans) by a material called synechia (the same material that bonds the fingernail to the finger and fuses a newborn kitten’s eye lids together) its actually cleaner to leave it attached. Its an anaerobic environment. Like the vagina, its self cleaning. It fuses during infancy up till puberty because the penis is still developing. Just as one should never separate the synechia of a newborn kitten’s eye lids because the eyes are still developing, a care provider should never separate the synechia of the prepuce organ because the reproductive organ is still developing.

    You should never manipulate the penis in any way. Just wipe from base to tip as you would a finger. A physician has to rip the prepuce (foreskin) off the glans during a prepucectomy. This results in a bloody wound on a penis. Its the only wound in which a soiled diaper is its bandage. My first son screamed when he urinated on his open wound. He would scream when I, as gently as I could, tried to remove faecal matter off his bleeding penis. Those screams will haunt me to my grave. Save yourself from a lifetime of regret. Its not worth it. Having a peaceful newborn and a happy baby free from that kind of trauma imprinted on his delicate brain is more than worth NOT doing it! I know, my intact boys were the best babies I’ve had!

    Please do not elect your child’s penis to an irreversible penis surgery. You can never get it back. If its “looks” your worried about? You’ll get use to it. After-awhile, seeing glans will become vulgar because you’ll understand that an adult intact male will bare his glans when he is aroused. Bare glans is the look of a horny penis. To see that on a child is disturbing. This is why the Greeks wouldn’t allow the Jews to participate in the Roman games. They played in the nude. This prompted the Jews to restore their foreskin beyond the tip of the glans (only the removal of the preputial sphincter constituted a bris ritual at that time) so they could appear as an intact male. This ignited the Rabbinical revolt, circa 135CE – 140CE which led to the removal of the entire prepuce in order to make it difficult to restore the appearance of an intact male.

    I’ll stop there. Please PLEASE protect the integrity of your son’s genital autonomy.

    Have a wonderful birth.

    My Warmest Regards,
    Michelle Richardson

  3. Hi i have 2 boys and never thought of having them circumsized as i had allways beleived it was not necesary boys are born the way they are so i thought it just as barbarick as female circumsition, although unfortueatly i had to have my eldest boy circumsised at 8 because his foreskin was to small and he was getting infections mind you i tried every other option first but to no avail im not sure who was more upset obviously he had the physical pain but i had the emotional pain as i never wanted this for my sons but that being said it is a personal decision and i dont believe that any one should be made feel bad because any of us who are parents are only trying to do whats right for our bubba’s and well done to you for asking questions about something that is taken for a normal practice . Hope your birth goes well hope ive helped regards ali xx

  4. I wanted to add.. I read some more of your blog.. and I relate to trying for so long and finally being blessed with your baby πŸ™‚ It took us 26 months to conceive our daughter, and 36 months to conceive our son. By the time I finally got pregnant with him I was overjoyed beyond belief, as I imagine you are. I mention this in relation to the circumcision issue because, as a mother who tried for so long to get pregnant and have a baby, I know I was intent to make good choices and do the best for him as I’m sure you are, and didn’t want to put him in any danger. The newest studies I’ve read have said that about 225 baby boys die a year in America from being circumcised. A statistic most doctors do not routinely inform parents of. As one mother who tried for a very long time to another, I feel this is an important piece of information to share with you. I know after trying for so long, you would not want in any way to put this baby’s life in jeopardy. Unnecessary surgery as a newborn is dangerous and risky and can have MANY complications, including death. I can’t imagine trying for so long and then having something horrible like that happen to my much wanted and loved baby. So I thought I would mention this also. I sincerely hope you keep your son intact as he is meant to be and ensure his safety and well being.

    • Thanks Jami for your comments and congrats on your family as well. I know how frustrating and hard it can be when you’re trying to start a family and you face difficult obstacles as I’m sure you’re aware of. All the best!

  5. I’m SO glad we left our son intact! Not only will it be his choice what to do with his penis, but he has had wonderful health and no problems whatsoever! I think there’s a great myth about the ‘health advantages’ of circumcision. If you hear stories from medical professionals claiming foreskins are trouble.. well, then you are talking to someone who only sees sick people! My son has had NO infections, NO nothing! It’s so easy to keep clean. He seems to enjoy his foreskin very much at the age of 18 months.. lol. No complaints from him!

    About half the parents I know that have sons, leave them intact. It’s very common, so the insecurity in the locker room argument is such bunk! I have known families who circumcised and their son suffered serious complications and needed a 2nd surgery. It was awful for the baby, and my friend told me she’d never circumcise again!

    The decision should most definitely be left up to your son, he was made perfectly with no mistakes! Foreskin isn’t a birth defect that needs to be cut away! Men who are circumcised who push for the procedure to be done to their sons (I’ve known such men) have no experience with an intact penis, so they really can’t give an educated opinion as to which would be better. There is much insecurity surrounding men’s genitalia, and who would want to admit theirs is lesser in any way? I think that’s really the driving force for some men to push for their sons to be circumcised! Male ego! B/c it’s certainly not common sense…. πŸ˜‰

    Have a good day, and I’m sure Little Nate will appreciate not being put through an unnecessary cosmetic procedure as an unconsenting infant!

  6. The deciding factor, even after the many other more obvious risks of circumcising, was learning that research now indicates that a large part of the reason american men are more prone to erectile dysfunction later in life is because our men are mostly circ’d. The foreskin protects the sensitive part of the penis and left unprotected over the years of rubbing against pants etc. It becomes callused, and eventually desensitized. After years of struggles with my own husband, the nights of tears because we wanted to make love and couldn’t and the toll it has taken on our family on the whole…I just couldn’t imagine the possibility of giving my son the same life sentence of pain and suffering. Young men may think they aren’t at a sexual disadvantage now, but they might be later along with the millions of other men. Imagine my outrage when, after medical testing, marriage counseling, psychiatric evaluations, my husband finds out that this is all because his mother didn’t stand up for him and let him be circ’d. People say it doesn’t matter in the long run, but in our case it surely matters big time. We live with it everyday….please please please think hard…it is not worth the risk of a life that is a sexually miserable as my husbands. Some woman will thank you later…

    • Reading about so many couples that do experience heartwrenching problems as a result of circ, including myself, I truly feel that circ as a rutine in babies should be banned. I read that the divorce rate in the USA doubles that of European countries where circ in newborn babies is seldom performed, except in jewish or muslim families. This is no coincidence.
      I also experienced many physical problems due to my husband’s circ, but I did not know it back then.

  7. I can tell just by reading this that you are really researching this quite a bit. I applaud you for that! This IS a big issue.
    I just wanted to tell you a little about our family and our decision on this issue. My husband was circ’d as a newborn. And so when we found out our first child was to be a boy, we first thought that circumcision was “just something you have to do.” But I’ve never been good at being told what I HAVE to do, lol, so I starting researching it. Then I came across a video of an actual circumcision being performed. I still get goosebumps when I remember that video. It horrified me to know that I was expected to let that happen to MY baby. A video of the procedure is not biased; it is pure fact.
    From that day on, my mind has bee made up. I do not believe circ is a good idea for healthy, newborn babies.
    I went on to read stories from men who had the procedure done as an adult. They talked about how horribly painful it was (no doubt) and something occurred to me – these men who dealt with so much pain had the benefit of anesthesia and narcotic pain relief after surgery. Newborn babies get – at most – a numbing cream (that doesn’t work well) and tylenol afterwards. But most babies get nothing more than a sugar sweetened pacifier for pain relief. How many adults would willingly endure that? Even if a grown man were told they would give him a medicine to make sure he doesn’t remember it, I still don’t think anyone would sign up for that.
    Would you?

    My two sons are the first members of mine and my husband’s families to not be circumcised. We are BOTH very glad we made that decision. I have never regretted it.

  8. I’m glad to hear that you are putting so much thought and research into the question! Good for you!- that’s a lot more than most parents have the opportunity to do… which should weight heavily on your mind when you consider how much of a foot in the door circumcision has on us culturally… and the climate of past circumcision decisions… how many fathers are circumcised because their own parents didn’t give it any thought- or worse yet- weren’t given any choice in it at all? Should the fact that a man or his grandfather was circumcised have any bearing on what happens to his son? Somehow circumcision was introduced without the “he must look like his dad” fear mongering… but now that we have it- it seems to be the #1 reason (excuse) to keep it going. I think we can do better than that.

    My husband was circumcised without his parent’s consent, and he tried to pull the “look like dad” card on me. I didn’t go for it. It was years later we found out that his own father is intact! Our sons don’t have any “problem” relating with their circumcised dad – and we got a vicious cycle in our family tree nipped in the bud. Now males born into the next generation can look like their dad AND their own DNA model without surgery!

    I invite you to visit my blog where you will find several posts on this topic.

  9. I understand you have already gotten a CRAZY amount of replies, but I wanted to share my reasons we left our sons intact.

    My husband was circumcised as an infant, as it what just what you did. He suffered from adhesions, and had to have a re-circumcision when he was four. He does not remember any of this, and only learned of it as an adult, after his mom told me. He does sometime have painful erections. As an adult, he is actually upset that he was circumcised, and considers the practice barbaric. We didn’t really discuss any of this, until I was pregnant, and I was glad we were on the same page. He is actually more anti-circ than I am.

    When I was pregnant with our first son, I mentioned in passing to my mother-in-law that we were not circumcising. She didn’t say anything, but I think she then went online and did a ton of research. By the time her second grandson was born (my nephew), she was actually anti-circumcision, from her research and personal experience, and this was when she told me about my husband’s surgeries.

    Like you, I feel it is not my penis, and really should be the choice of the man who has to live with it. It is a permanent body modification, and as it is a functional part of their bodies, I don’t feel I should arbitrarily choose to have surgery done on it without a really good medical indication. Based on my research, there isn’t one yet.

    My big concerns were with how I would feel if something DID happen, like the minutely increased risk of penile cancer. But then, I could remove my kids’ breasts to prevent the risk of cancer. I could remove their appendixes to prevent the risk of them bursting. I just had my gallbladder removed after issues as an adult- they *could* have that removed. But, of course, why go to any of those extremes before there is a proven issue? Any time we are cut into in a hospital, there are risks, especially realistically risks of secondary infections. It just seems like a lot to do to such a little person already recovering from being born and adjusting to the big bright world outside of me.

    And, finally, I had great misgivings about pain management, during the procedure, and post-operatively. The best case I have heard of was EMLA cream being applied 30 minutes prior, mom nursing the baby during the procedure, it occurring 8 days after birth when the baby’s natural vitamin K levels are high enough to greatly decrease the risk of bleeding out, and the baby being given Motrin for a few days after. Most common case, however, is no pain management during the procedure, baby being strapped down to the table so they don’t jerk and do damage, and nothing given post-op other than instructions to keep vaseline on it at diaper changes and be careful wiping the meconium off his penis.

    The good news is that I think MOST men end up thinking whatever was done when they were infants was the right choice- I think the men who were left intact and wish they had been circumcised as infants, as well as the men who were circumcised as infants and are angry about it as adults, are the exception. The bad news is, this is just one of the first of many, many, many decisions you will be charged to make in Nate’s best interests for, oh, the next 18 years or so. Best of luck, and congratulations!

  10. I decided not to snip because ultimitly for us it came down to the fact that I just made this perfect baby and we felt that cutting any part of him off was just destroying our perfect creation… My husband is not also but we had a lot of outside interferance telling is we should. We did our research and found the argument to do it was not supported at all

  11. It always amazes me when people think that babies don’t feel the pain and that if they ever do, they easily forget. Babies are even more sensitive to pain, because their nervous system is much more open.
    There was a Canadian doctor who did a research on this through scanning a babie’s brain waves before, during and after circ. The baby never recovered his original waves. The psysical and emotional scarring is permanent, the only thing is that the memories get deeply buried and are very difficult to access in a conscious way, but affect the adult man in ways that people are only begining to grasp.
    I have a friend who had a spontaneous recolection of his circ. It was the most terrifying experience he’s ever had, one that helped him to understand the many emotional issues he had had for years, but that he could not understand until he remembered spontaneously.
    If you want I could send you his email address, so you can get in touch with him. He wrote a wonderful and deeply moving article about it. I’m sure he’d love to share his experience with you.
    In any case, why not wait and let your son make the decision if he ever feels like it. It is his birth right to make decisions about his body, especially if they affect him in such a horrible way.
    There’s also a wonderful book called “Sex as Nature Intended It” by Kristen O’Hara. It’s one of the most amazing and more enlightening books I’ve ever read.
    Circ has deep and very tragic consequences not only in the grown up man’s sexual life, but in his partner’s as well. When people understand this, they just leave the baby’s forskin alone.

  12. Hi, there! I haven’t read other comments, but I thought I’d add my two cents:

    Good for you for giving the issue serious thought. I know a lot of babies with circumcised dads end up that way just for that reason, which makes no sense to me- so if your husband’s cut, I guess that puts you a step ahead of the pack. πŸ™‚

    I have two sons, neither of which we had circumcised. I don’t know where you live, but I’m assuming the USA, since there aren’t any other “Western” countries with high circ rates like yours. Canada’s still around 10%, but falling; European countries are lower. And guess what? We’re not overrun with kidney infections or UTIs, and HIV rates are far lower in uncircumcised Europe than they are in the States. Someone’s probably already said it, but circumcision really is a cure in search of a disease; at one time it was to “cure” masturbation; when that didn’t work, they decided it would cure madness/syphillis/prevent UTI and AIDS- they’ll come up with something else next to justify the procedure. My point is that they’ve not been right in the past, and the AIDS studies from Africa have already been reviewed and condemned to the point where I didn’t even consider them valid when we made our decision. Circumcision doesn’t prevent AIDS, and your kid will have to use a condom either way.

    UTIs are way more common in girls than in cut or uncut boys (and I think the difference between the boys is less than 2%, not statistically significant), but we’re not cutting anything off of girls to prevent them; I’ve read that penile cancer is less likely than male breast cancer… again, we’re not preemptively cutting off anyone’s breasts (male or female) just in case, and circumcised men can STILL get penile cancer.

    Please let your son decide this for himself when he grows up. People say a baby won’t remember the pain, but early exposure to pain can make them more pain-sensitive later in life, and it can affect parent/baby bonding. Please protect your precious boy from that unnecessary trauma. If (and it’s a big “if”) he decides to do it when he’s older, it really is a simple cut, he can have painkillers, and he can stand some blood loss. He’ll also understand why he’s hurting, and it will be his decision. As a baby, it’s not a simple cut- I’m sure you’ve heard about how the foreskin is fused to the penis, and needs to be ripped off like a fingernail before cutting happens. It’s so much pain (and yes, babies feel pain at least as much as we do, and not knowing what is happening or why makes things so much worse for anyone), and it’s so unnecessary. If he wants to risk loss of sensation later in life (and he will miss it, which is why I called it a big “if”!) because his wife thinks it looks nice, that’s his choice. It’s HIS body- I don’t know why doctors let parents make the decision, but they do, so it’s up to you to respect your child’s rights in that regard.

    As for my kids… no UTIs, no problems. If you keep him intact, as I hope you will, please don’t let anyone tell you to retract his foreskin- THAT is what causes problems, not the foreskin itself. An intact penis should have no problems if it’s left alone. Wash it like you would a finger or something, and leave it alone. No messy bandages, no urine getting in an open wound and causing pain, no worries about whether he’s bleeding out and you can’t tell.

    Intact is easier to take care of, it’s just as clean, it leaves a baby with all the nerve endings he’s supposed to have (not to mention the benefits for his future sexual partners- I’m sure you’ve heard about that, too!), it allows him to experience the beginning of life as a peaceful time, warm, protected and without pain. Your son can be intact AND 100% healthy later in life- please look into the motivations of those who say otherwise, whether they’re in it for the money, or if they promote circumcision because it was “good enough” for them or their children, and they’re feeling defensive.

    I know this is hard for you. I hope that by the time our grandchildren are born it won’t be an issue, because no one will do it except in the very rare cases it’s medically indicated (far more rare than doctors would have you believe), but until then, it’s up to you. I hope that some day you’ll be able to tell your son, “You look different from Daddy because we didn’t want to hurt you for no good reason”… I’m sure he’ll thank you for it!

    Best of luck to you in all things baby-related!

    -from a mom of two happily uncircumcised boys

  13. I think sometimes you need to step back and look at the bigger picture – the world. The world does not routinely circumcise, and men from equal social status ar as healthy as circumcise men. The propaganda taty circumcision is healthy only works because America tends to only look at itself, tat bubble needs to be burst.

    I am not American but I married one. After 30 years of not knowing what circumcision was, sex with a circumcise man has not being a walk in the park. I come from a rather large family, and there are no significant health difference between my husband and the other men of my family. On the other hand, we have issues they don’t have, due to circumcision. My husband notices and gets bitter over the sensitivity he loses each year, it seems that the sensitive accelerates as it gets older. When we started having sex i started getting all kind of soreness and infections. At first I thought maybe we were sexually incompatible, it was only when I was pregnant with my son that I started reading about circumcision to explain to his family why that was not going to be done to my boy (quite frankly, to me, it is a barbaric procedure that was never an option), i found out the problems I have been having in our sexual life were a product or circ as well, since it makes the penis make friction in the vagina, and that is NOT how sex is supposed to feel like. Circumcision damages women as well, we always forget what we do to them when we cut our boys.

    • Hi Agustina .. .thanks for sharing your experiences. Sounds like from many women and men that sex is the biggest part of circumcision as an infant that it truly effects. I have been with both circumcised men but never noticed a difference, but then again maybe my sex life wasn’t a roller coaster ride to begin with! LOL. My husband has had no issues with his sex life as a circumcised man and our sex life as husband and wife has been fine without any soreness, infections or problems of the sort. I guess I lucked out. But this topic is something I do want to keep in mind when making decisions for my unborn son, as he is and will be a boy growing up into a man.

      • @mommajlee, your husband may not have any issues because he is still young. I was circumcised at birth and never noticed a problem with sexual pleasure until I was in my 40s. By 50, sex had lost most of its allure because I lost so much sensitivity. I am restoring my foreskin and the difference is amazing. We no longer need lube and my wife does not get sore any more. There is a New Zealand study that shows many female problems (vaginal dryness and soreness) are caused by the male being circumcised. You may be in the lucky percentage that does not experience those problems. Good for you. Not so good for my wife and many others. My wife and I would never have had to go through this if my parents had left my sex organ alone when I was born. My body, my choice.

  14. http://www.enotalone.com/article/3510.html

    Our son is not circumcised. Neither is my husband, but that is not the reason I did not want to circumcise. I felt strongly about the issue long before meeting my husband.

    The foreskin is important. It’s there for a reason. There is a lot of good information in the link above.

    As for AIDS and STDS. If you plan on your child growing up in 3rd world parts of Africa where he won’t be able to practice good hygiene or safe sex, my all means, go ahead and snip him. If you plan on your son not being a responsible sex partner, by all means, go ahead and snip. But in this day and age, in America, where we have the information, we have no reason to be circumcising our little boys.

    As for cancer, the American Cancer Society has not endorsed circumcision as a practice for decreasing the risk of penile cancer. A man has a bigger chance of getting breast cancer than penile cancer, whether or not he’s circumcised. It’s just not significant.

    If you want your son’s penis to be protected while he is in diapers, please don’t cut him. The foreskin is important for cleanliness! If you want your son to have amazing orgasms when he gets to that point in his life, please don’t cut him! If you want him to please his wife in ways a circumcised man can’t, please don’t cut him! (I know, kind of weird to think about. But my husband says our son will thank us when he’s older.)

    If you want him to be able to make decisions about what is done to his body, please don’t cut him! He may choose to get circumcised, or he may choose to get a tattoo or piercings! If he still wants to look like dad when he’s older, let him make that decision! Maybe they could get matching tattoos:)

    • Thanks Cassie for your comment. I am aware that STD protection should be something you discuss with your kids at an appropriate age regardless and the cancer thing is also just a stat I picked up from TIME. Nothing I’m really worried about when it comes to circumcision. We will definitely think about things in detail and make a decision that we feel is right for our son πŸ™‚
      All the best!

  15. My brother-in-law had to get one at 16 due to foreskin problems (he said it was the worst possible time in life to have to get it because he’d already been through puberty and was aroused easily and often at that age… Not fun to deal with while trying to heal!) My grandfather also had to get one before his second wife would marry him, so he was in his late 40’s for his procedure…. Both of these men would tell you it would have been much better to have had the procedure as an infant. I personally believe if you go ahead with it, you should wait until the child is at least a week old. Baby’s blood does not have a clotting factor when first born (vitamin K) which is why they give a vit K shot, but even then, I don’t think it is in the babies system long enough to really work properly. If you wait until the baby would naturally have vit K in his system (8-10 days or so), you can prevent him from needing this needless shot at birth as well.

    • Thanks Rebecca for your comment. I also know men who decided to get circumcised later on in life after or during their teenage years for whatever reasons and they all say the same thing – they’re glad they were able to make the decision for themselves.


  16. Hi, congratulations, you’re getting so close to having your baby! We decided not to circumcise our son. it actually wasn’t a really big decision for us. I’m a preschool teacher so I have helped a lot of kids with bathroom stuff and the whole time I was teaching I only ever saw 1 little boy who was circumcised so even before I was pregnant I had the idea that it just must not be very popular anymore. Once I was pregnant we looked into it more, we’re in Canada and as far as I know the statistics here when I had my son was around only 40% that do have it done. We had also lived in Australia for a while and friends there told me that it is hardly ever done there. My husband is circumcised but he didn’t want to do it to our son, not because he regrets having it done or has had any problems but just because we figured things have changed since he was born and that a boy would probably rather be more like his friends in that way than his Father. Once we actually watched a video of the procedure in our birth class my husband was very much against it. I agree that it’s a decision that a person really should make for themselves yes, if it’s done it’s done but once it’s done you can’t ever go back where as if you don’t do it and he decides to later he can. I also think that the pain would be just as real as an infant and probably more scary because they don’t know what’s happening to them.My son is almost 4 now and he hasn’t had any problems.I’m not worried about him being healthy in the future, as far as I know the risk of cancer as well as HIV are not really higher or at least not significantly, depending on what study you look at and as for STD’s, he’s going to have to protect himself either way I would never assume that my son was safe just because he was circumcised or that he’d have to be more careful just because he wasn’t. Good luck with your decision and congratulations again!

    • Thanks for you comment Heather. It’s very rare to come across a men who are circumcised and had no issues being cut growing up and not wanting it for their sons so I applaud your husband! Many men want their sons cut mainly because they’ve been cut and for me, that’s not reason enough. I agree with the STD comment as well … STD’s are something young men need to know about and protect themselves against whether they are snipped or not. Thanks for your advice and all the best!


  17. I was just like you before my son was born I had no idea what to do. My dh was circumsized and wanted it for our son but I thought it was a decision both of us had to make and live with. After doing research I realized it was not my decision. It was something my son couldn’t grow back if he wanted it when he’s an adult and most of the concerns he won’t have to worry about until he’s an adult. I think it’s a decision the boy should make for himself. For me the deciding factor was when I saw a video of one being performed it broke my heart and I couldn’t imagine letting it happen to my son.
    Good luck, I’m sure you will make the decision that is right for you. I’m just glad to see other moms informing themselves about it and not just doing it because the daddy is too.

    • Thanks for your comment Christal! I am very much along the same line as you are – my husband and I plan on prayerfully discussing it in more detail before we make any decisions. Utimately, we of course do not want anything bad to happen to our son or put him in any situation that might bring unncessary injury to his perfect and fragile body his first couple days on this earth.


  18. I never had much of an opinion on circumcision until I met the man who is now my husband. He was/is my first intact partner, and I have to say from a woman’s perspective, there is a huge difference between him and my previous circ’d partners. Now obviously that’s a long-term advantage.
    We chose to keep our son intact for many reasons. We just weren’t convinced of all the arguments “for” circ. The chances of an intact man getting penile cancer or any of the other diseases you mentioned are so low, it didn’t work for us. My husband is now 41 and never had a urinary tract infection as a child (one of the “for” arguments), never contracted an STD and does not have “hygiene issues.”
    What really swayed us was the needless pain it would put our son through. Many people will tell you he won’t remember a thing. But the truth is, when babies are born, their senses are extremely acute. It’s a survival mechanism. When our oldest daughter was born, she had tongue-tie (a tight frenulum) that made it very difficult for her to nurse. Our family doctor botched snipping her tongue-tie THREE times in three weeks…it kept healing because he wasn’t cutting deep enough. (We were first-time parents and didn’t know better at the time.) We finally were referred to an ENT at the local children’s hospital. This doctor actually numbed her frenumlum with a topical anasthetic (which our family doctor had not been doing!!) and snipped properly. He said he had to cut through scar tissue. I felt like the world’s worst mother. Months later, when it was time to start solids, I wondered why my daughter wouldn’t eat. She would cry and fight me every time I tried to feed her. It took me months to realize she hated having anything put into her mouth, especially metal spoons: I firmly believe she was traumatized by the tongue-tie procedures that took place when she was less than a month old. So looking back on that experience, it was easy for us to decide to keep our son intact.
    He is almost 5 now and has never had any UTIs. When his foreskin retracts on its own, Daddy will teach him how to keep himself clean. If one day he chooses to be circ’d for whatever reason, at least he will have that option.
    Good luck making your decision.

    • Thanks for your comment Kristina! I have a sibling who was in and out of the hospital as an infant and had many surgical procedures completed on him for health reasons and growing up we noticed that he hated to be touched by strangers. We now understand it was the constant probing and surgical procedures that were performed on him as he was ripped away from mommy that has made him senitive to strangers touching him. He still as an adult now has issues with this so I too do believe that what a child experiences whether at infancy or older does effect their behaviour and personality growing up.
      All the best on raising your little ones and yes, I think as long as parents teach their sons how to clean themselves properly there are keep them safe from any STD’s (which all parents should do regardless of kids being intact or not) when they’re old enough, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being intact.

  19. I decided to leave my second son intact after circumcising my first. I still deeply regret doing it to my first, although he’s blessedly suffered no problems from it. But it was completely unnecessary surgery, and now thanks to my ignorance he is forever missing a part of his body, and we risked his life in the process. I have heard first hand accounts from men circumcised as adults about how much different (worse) their sex life is.

    My little brother is intact, and has never had any problems with anyone bullying him or making a comment. Keeping up hygiene on my circed son has been far more work than on my intact one. I figure I will probably NEVER regret not circing, but I will regret doing it to my first until the day I die.

    • Thanks for your comment Stassja. My little brother is as well intact and had no issues growing up uncircumsied. I do remember my parents telling him and teaching him at a young age how to clean himself properly when taking a shower and to retract the f.s. when it was loose enough. They made a concious effort for him to be aware of the fact that he was intact and to know the difference as a child so he could be comfortable with his body and if ever he did come across any bullying or comments in the locker rooms, he could stand up for himself and his body!

      Many ppl have commented on the disadvantages and risks invovled with circumcision and maybe I’m just lucky to have known no one who has ever had any problems with the procedure and have never regreted having it done to themselves or to their sons. Reading all the comments have opened my eyes to a new side of things that I am thankful for, so thanks for your comments and all the best on raising your two wonderful boys!! πŸ™‚


  20. My son is 10 months old and my husband and I made the decision to keep him intact. This is one of the first and most important decisions that a mother can make for her unborn/infant son and every day I am so thankful that we chose to let his penis stay the way mother nature intended it to be. Keep your son intact and if in the future HE wants to be circumcized then he can have the procedure done. If you chose to have the circumcision done I hope that you and your husband are willing to be there with him while the procedure takes place and I hope you don’t regret it once it’s too late.

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