Week 37, Day 4

Old Skool Mommy Vs New Skool Mommy To Be….


My mother and I have been looking for post labour lounge wear for a week now with no luck. Actually, let me rephrase, I’ve found tons of great little outfits to wear out of the hospital and at home, but my mother does not approve of any of them. Go figure! You have to understand Korean tradition to understand my mother’s stance on post delivery recovery. Here’s a list of must do’s and must do not’s on my mother’s list:

1. After delivery I MUST wear long sleeves and pants in order to cover all their joints. Because, natural vaginal delivery directly affects your bones, Korean women are not allowed to let any cold air come in contact with them for at least a month after giving birth or they say our joints will not heal properly causing pain as you age. Joints must be covered at all times! The extreme of this – I am not even allowed to open my refrigerator door at home and if my mother see’s me doing so, my husband will get it from her!

2. No one is allowed to see the new born baby! No pictures, no postings, no guests, nothing!
Apparently back in the days, when a baby was born to the family, the family would put up ribbons around the front of the house to indicate a new birth. Until these ribbons were taken down, no one expect family were allowed into the house. The showing of a new baby is regarded as sacred and Korean tradition states that if you value your child, you do not show them off until they are at least 3 months of age. This actually follows the 100 day celebration thing, but who knew we were still living in the 30’s/40’s post war when infancy mortality was at its highest from lack of nutrition and hygene!

3. Mother’s are not allowed to leave the house for a month after delivering. Preferably mothers are to stay home for 3 months to fully recover.

4. Mother’s are not allowed to drink anything cold, eat anything cold or our teeth will fall out!

5. For a week after delivery, mothers can not shower or wash.

6. Mother’s must stay hot at all times and sweat out all the bad stuff in our bodies.

You get the idea …

There are a few things I can understand and adhere too, but some of the others are just ridiculous. If my mother thinks that I’m not going to wash for a week after I give birth, she must be out of her mind. We’ve been having our discussions and we’ve been going back and forth on a lot of these “must do’s and must not do’s” as I’ve been trying to tell her most of these rules were made back in the day when people lived in mud huts, had no heat and lacked nutritious food in the house. Not only that, but because of the war and lack of nutrition, there was a high rate of infancy mortality which isn’t the case now. But of course my mother wants me to adhere to as much of it as I can for my health and my recovery so I’ve obliged to the “I’ll cover up” rule đŸ™‚

I’m thankful I have a mother who loves me to death, cares so much and is trying her best to support me and help me the best she can. As much as we disagree on certain things, and argue about this and that, she really is my best friend and I love her dearly! I hope my little guy and I can have a relationship just as open and honest and truly blessed as my relationship with my mother without him being a mama’s boy! hehe.

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2 Responses

  1. Being chinese of origin, my mother’s guide to pregnancy and post-pregnancy couldnt be more different…….her do and dont list is very similar to the Korean one expect the chinese one is shorter 30 days (one lunar month) and it involves bathing in ginger water (my dad bless him has been saving the ginger skins for several months for me to have a bath addtives when I was pregnant with Hannah but due to c-section I wasnt able to have baths only showers – I still have that box of ginger skins in the airing cupboard). Mum cooked the traditional pork hock, ginger in black vinegar but she decided that I should eat the ginger as it was too sour (must eat sour things if you have cut and c-section is a major cut) – I was not too upset, I like the taste of ginger but I dont like eating it due to the texture.
    I pretending that I stayed at home for 30 days instead I was out and about with Hannah 2 weeks after the delivery. I was given the OK to drive after 1 week :0)

    • hahah… gotta love parents for being so loving tho. i wish i could trick my mom, too bad she’s going to be coming over everyday to make sure I’m home in long clothes and socks in the middle of summer! ARGH

      my gf had a c-sec too and she was out the next day with her baby for fast food! hahaha.

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