Week 37, Day 6

Dreaming of Sugary Sweet Leakage

My entire pregnancy, I had a lot of questions, doubts and fears, but there was one particular fear that didn’t bother me until my 3rd trimester and once I started thinking about it, it was a constant subconscious struggle. I would dream about it almost daily and when girlfriends talked about it, I would cringe…


For me, breastfeeding is a bond that a mother and child forms that lasts a lifetime. It’s something that no one else can do except me and allows me time to connect on another level with my child. It’s also a necessity. I know formula has come a long way and is perfectly fine for babies providing all the nutrients they need, but it’s still recommended if you can, to breastfeed your infant. My fear was that I wouldn’t be able to. I would have dreams where the baby arrives and the nurse is trying to teach me how to feed my child but nothing would come out. He would suck and cry and cry and eventually I would just sit there with him crying. In other dreams I would have strangers come and take my child and feed him from the bottle and it would tear my heart.

So imagine my excitement when I notice a sticky white residue on my nipples. At first I was surprised and kind of grossed out at the same time, but then I realize I am leaking colostrum, sometimes called premilk. Colostrum is a thick, yellowish or sometimes clear fluid that contains antibodies that help protect new babies from infections. If you choose to breastfeed, this precious liquid will nourish your baby until your milk comes in which isn’t typically until 24-48 hours after you have delivered. Colostrum has more protein, but less carbohydrate and fat than mature breast milk. It’s easy to digest and has just the right amount of nutrients a baby needs in the first few days after birth. The fact that I’m starting to leak it means that my body is producing and prepping to feed our little one. I was so excited I started to squeeze it out just to make sure I was right, and I was!

Breastfeeding is kind of a weird thing to fear not being able to do, especially when I know so many mothers who choose not to breast feed their babies because of pain, bleeding or just for other personal reasons but this is something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m still planning on pumping my breast milk and bottle feeding breast milk as well so daddy can feed as well, but when it comes to meal time, I can’t wait … it’ll be mommy and baby alone time!


4 Responses

  1. good luck babe! I really wanted to breast feed kane too but only lasted for a few days. he could eat from my right breast but could not latch on my left. my left nipple was inverted too and hardly any milk came out of that side. so i pumped for 2 months straight and bottle fed him but then after that my body stopped producing milk and that was it. was really crushed but hey what can you do. i hope my next baby i will be able to breast feed for at least 6 months. hope baby nate has no troubles eating from mommy’s boobies! heheheh 🙂

    • I heard pumping alone doesn’t make the body produce milk so I’m really hoping I can breast feed and that Nate doesn’t have any problems latching on. I’ve been massaging and squeezing my breasts to release the ducts for an easier release once the baby is born. I’m hoping that helps.

  2. I had a few breast feeding problems to start with but had a midwife come to visit (couldnt drive after c -section) and she showed me how to latch Hannah on properly and I breast feed Hannah exclusively upto 6 months and then a mix of formulae and food and breast milk until 9 months. It is a little tricky to start off with but make sure you eat well and drink plenty of water and dont be shy to ask for help. Going out and about with a breast feed baby involves less preparation and less stuff to bring with you :0)

    • Yes, I’ve been learning proper latching techniques as well as they say it’s what makes or breaks breast feeding and the pain. Apparently if the baby latches properly then feeding shouldn’t be painful.

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