Baby Blues???

Otherwise known as … PPMD…Postpartum Mood Disorder

I didn’t think I’d be one to get it, but since we got back from the hospital last Tuesday I found myself in tears for no apparent reason at random times throughout the day. It first started when my husband was talking to me about something. For no apparent reason, he sort or raised his voice and I started to ball. WEIRD!

I’m not upset over anything and I have no ill feelings towards my son, rather I love him to pieces and can’t get enough of him even though I’m with him 24/7 … but I feel sad and I have no idea why. I’m really enjoying Ed being at home with me, it feels like we’re a real family the three of us and his help and support has been invaluable! However, the thought of him going back to work next week really breaks my heart. I don’t want him to leave us… not to be able to spend time with his son anymore and see all his advancements in growth, changes in personality and firsts. I want him here with us. I don’t think we’ve ever spent this much time together, even if it means through deprived sleep, anxiety and tiredness. =( Could I just be anxious about being alone with Nathan???

So what’s wrong with me? Is it just postpartum depression? Is it going to go away? And if not, what do I do?
I get worse when people come visit, especially my mother. I love her to death and I really appreciate everything she’s done for me with bringing me food, doing the dishes and making sure I’m taking care of myself but every time she comes I feel so sad. At one point, I had to go to the bathroom and just cry and I had no idea why I was crying or feeling so sad. Have any of you moms felt this way before? And if so, how did you deal?

I’m going out a little more now, walking with the husband and baby and just getting some fresh air. I’m also trying to keep myself busy by finding things to do when the babies sleeping – cleaning, picking things up or just napping and catching up on sleep. I feel much better when it’s just the three of us, but when guests come by, I have no idea why but I break down. Hmm….. weird huh.


4 Responses

  1. Baby Blues???…

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

  2. dont worry too much, I am like that now with Ryan and I was like that with Hannah, do not forget it took your body 9 months to build up the hormone levels and then suddenly the levels just drop overnight after the birth. If you are aware of yourself being emotional then it is post partum depression as true PPD the mums often do not realise that they are depressed or they are in denial and pretent everything is fine. You are allowed to be scared and unsure, just remember that is what your midwife and doctors are for, dont be scared to ask them question not matter how silly they may sound to you and if you dont understand their answer ask again and again until you understand :0)

    • thanks mama! i’m actually feeling a lot better now. the first week was really bad, tearing up and crying like a baby at the littlest things but i haven’t shed a tear in awhile now. nate of course has been keeping me busy .. the only time i want to cry is when i see my baby cry. 🙂

      how are you enjoying ryan?? i wanna see more pictures of him!

      • Good to hear the blues are getting any bluer. Ryan has finally started to put some weight on but he still hasnt reached his original birth weight but the midwife thinks that he is going to reach his birth weight on his original due date (11th September). I promise to post more photos on FB soon as soon as we have a camera in commission :0)

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