Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

September 22, 2010

i started a new blog

come visit me at My Lemonade Stand, a new start for a new mom!

hope to see you on the other side


Week 5 Update
September 20, 2010

the little man is 5 weeks old today.

i can’t believe how fast time is flying by. i spend everyday, all day with nate and everyday he seems to change. his face is changing, his feature are becoming more defined and he’s totally chubbing out, filling out his tiny little body frame more and more each day. today after church we went to visit grandma and grandpa lee in oakville. while sitting on the sofa, nathan did the cutest thing, he smiled and then laughed! best part of it all, i caught it on camera!

when i see him smile, it just melts my heart. knowing that he’s content is the best feeling in the world. i wish he could just sit and smile all day long everyday!

on the downside, a month in and he’s still a little jaundice. no matter how much sun we expose him too, how many times he nurses or drinks formula, his yellowness doesn’t seem to want to go away. i’m not sure how normal this is so we’re planning on taking him to the dr’s this week. not only that, but every time he feeds he’s been getting red rash like marks on his face which goes away within minutes or hours but the fact that he’s getting them is really unsettling. his nose has been stuffy since birth and he has such a hard time dirtying his diaper. he grunts, his face turns red and sometimes he starts to cry. i’ve been told that this is normal, but seeing him struggle so much to do his business bothers me since there’s nothing i can do to sooth or help him. but he’s been dirtying 8-10 diapers a day consistantly so i know he’s getting enough to eat. at first i thought maybe he was allergic to milk so i stopped eating dairy and switched his formula to a hypoallergenic / lactose free mix. hopefully the dr’s can answer some of these questions for us this week.

Day 5
August 21, 2010

It’s been 5 days already since baby Nathan joined our little family turning 2 into 3. Nothing is the same and I don’t know what I was expecting, but whatever it was, it’s nothing like I thought it would be. So the Labour Story….….

Last Friday I had my weekly dr’s appointment and during the visit I noticed my braxton hicks contractions were at their worst … little did I know that they weren’t braxton hicks, they were the start of real contractions which only intensified throughout the day. My dr started examining me when he asks…“are you not feeling any pains? crampings? I told him I was but that I thought it was braxton hicks. He reassured me that they were not and that I could go into labour anytime now. His guess was within 24hours our little guy would be out with us! My heart skipped a beat… for the first time ever, it felt real, he was coming…

My mom who came with me to the dr’s drove me home and as the dr had predicted, my contractions started to get worse and worse. I thought I’d tough it out and wait till they were about 2-3 mins apart before going into the hospital thinking by that point I’d be far along in labour and dilated enough … by that evening the pain was unbearable and my husband drove me to the hospital around midnight. Contractions were about 5 mins apart and very painful. To my surprise, I was only 2-3 cm’s dilated … they told us to either go back home or walk around a bit and come back in a few hours so that’s what we did. We went to a friend’s house downtown by the hospital – I took some pills to help with the pain and 5 hours later when the pain got progressively worse and I could barely walk, we went back to the hospital only to be let down again. I had not dilated at all! We were coming up to 24 hours of contractions and pain, I didn’t know how much more I could take but reluctantly we went back home and as soon as we got in the house I was in so much pain I could barely move, talk or walk. Tears started to roll down my face, I was crying uncontrollably and everything went blank. I couldn’t think, speak … I just stood there crying unable to move from the pain and there were no stops in between… just contraction after contraction. How were we going to get back to the hospital???

After a few hours of my husband trying to calm me down, only to get frustrated himself as he didn’t know what he could do to help me, but he did convince me that we had to at least try to get back to the hospital and that he would make them admit me even if I wasn’t dilating. We went and he drove as fast as he could as I sat in pain breathing …

As soon as we got there, they checked me again and I was 4-5 cms dilated. They admitted me immediately, broke my water and gave me my epidural … then everything was gravy! Both my husband and I slept for the next 5-6 hours and when the dr came in to wake me, she told me that I was fully dilated, ready to push.

30+ hours after my first contraction … I pushed for a little over and hour and finally met baby Nathan for the very first time. My heart skipped a beat and I had a hard time not staring at him non stop. Ed got to cut his cord, put on his first diaper and hold him. But Nate didn’t cry right away and was having trouble breathing on his own so I held him for a quick second before they took him away to examine him. We didn’t get to see him or hold him till hours later when he came back to us with an iv for 48hours of examining and feeding of antibiotics. My heart broke when I saw him like that … I started to cry, he looked like he was in so much pain and I couldn’t do anything for him.

But now … 5 days later, we’re home and he’s doing great!

Everything I thought about raising a baby flew out the window when I quickly realized that nothing goes according to our plans or our wants anymore, rather everything at this point is about Nathan and his timing. For the next little while, while the little guy gets accustomed to his new surroundings and familiarize himself with all the changes in his life, we will have to happily accommodate. The first couple nights at home were hard. We had no sleep and neither did the little guy. Everything was new and scary, even handling him. But now, he’s sleeping more throughout the night, 3-4 hour stretches in a row, nursing like a champion. I’m producing a lot of milk and have had no real issues with feeding him but my nipples are so sore. They started cracking and bleeding but the nursing specialist says it’s normal. Nipples have to toughen and once it starts to toughen I’ll feel less pain, eventually no pain. It’s funny, while he feeds it doesn’t hurt unless he latches on wrong and grabs only my nipple instead of the surrounding areola but as soon as he latches off, OUCH! And the constant leaking / lactating … so embarrassing. My shirts get soaked because I can’t stand wearing a nursing bra. Especially since I nurse topless and baby naked as well so we’re skin on skin which is what the nursing specialist said we should do to connect with our baby. Skin on skin is extremely sensitive and provides a lot of emotional and physical comfort for the baby.

I’m recovering… can’t say recovering well because I don’t know what I’m suppose to be comparing it to as I’ve never felt this kind of pain before but during delivery I did tear naturally a little which required a few stitches, not a lot but I also got hemorrhoids which is annoying. Other than that, everything is slowly starting to feel routine and we’re adjusting to the changes we need to make. Ed has been SUPER, has completely stepped up to help around the house where he can and is doing everything he can to make me comfortable. He cooks, cleans, takes care of the baby at night when he can so I can sleep a bit and has not complained once about it. He definitely stepped up and is taking his role as father seriously and I’m so happy and thankful for that. I don’t know what I would have done without him…infact, he’s actually 100 times better than my mother which is something I didn’t think I would say or feel. I would rather him be with me than my mom …. weird huh!

sorry for the long entry but it’s been a crazy world-wind of a ride the past few days but everyday it gets better and I’m just happy to see my little guy. I look at him and still can’t believe that this little person was inside of me just last week, kicking my ribs and fussing around … and now, he’s looking me in my eyes and sleeping in my arms. I can’t explain it, but I’m sure you mom’s out there know what I’m feeling… a complete feeling of awe and amazement!

Welcome Nathan Jaeden Lee!
August 20, 2010

Nathan arrived into the world AUGUST 15th 2010

Been busy this week with adjusting, caring and finally becoming a mother… will post and update on delivery and my first week with Nathan when I get a second to do it 🙂 In the meantime …. I’m running on 2 hrs of sleep at most, lots of feedings and dirty dirty diapers… but I’m loving it!

Week 37, Day 4
August 3, 2010

Old Skool Mommy Vs New Skool Mommy To Be….

My mother and I have been looking for post labour lounge wear for a week now with no luck. Actually, let me rephrase, I’ve found tons of great little outfits to wear out of the hospital and at home, but my mother does not approve of any of them. Go figure! You have to understand Korean tradition to understand my mother’s stance on post delivery recovery. Here’s a list of must do’s and must do not’s on my mother’s list:

1. After delivery I MUST wear long sleeves and pants in order to cover all their joints. Because, natural vaginal delivery directly affects your bones, Korean women are not allowed to let any cold air come in contact with them for at least a month after giving birth or they say our joints will not heal properly causing pain as you age. Joints must be covered at all times! The extreme of this – I am not even allowed to open my refrigerator door at home and if my mother see’s me doing so, my husband will get it from her!

2. No one is allowed to see the new born baby! No pictures, no postings, no guests, nothing!
Apparently back in the days, when a baby was born to the family, the family would put up ribbons around the front of the house to indicate a new birth. Until these ribbons were taken down, no one expect family were allowed into the house. The showing of a new baby is regarded as sacred and Korean tradition states that if you value your child, you do not show them off until they are at least 3 months of age. This actually follows the 100 day celebration thing, but who knew we were still living in the 30’s/40’s post war when infancy mortality was at its highest from lack of nutrition and hygene!

3. Mother’s are not allowed to leave the house for a month after delivering. Preferably mothers are to stay home for 3 months to fully recover.

4. Mother’s are not allowed to drink anything cold, eat anything cold or our teeth will fall out!

5. For a week after delivery, mothers can not shower or wash.

6. Mother’s must stay hot at all times and sweat out all the bad stuff in our bodies.

You get the idea …

There are a few things I can understand and adhere too, but some of the others are just ridiculous. If my mother thinks that I’m not going to wash for a week after I give birth, she must be out of her mind. We’ve been having our discussions and we’ve been going back and forth on a lot of these “must do’s and must not do’s” as I’ve been trying to tell her most of these rules were made back in the day when people lived in mud huts, had no heat and lacked nutritious food in the house. Not only that, but because of the war and lack of nutrition, there was a high rate of infancy mortality which isn’t the case now. But of course my mother wants me to adhere to as much of it as I can for my health and my recovery so I’ve obliged to the “I’ll cover up” rule 🙂

I’m thankful I have a mother who loves me to death, cares so much and is trying her best to support me and help me the best she can. As much as we disagree on certain things, and argue about this and that, she really is my best friend and I love her dearly! I hope my little guy and I can have a relationship just as open and honest and truly blessed as my relationship with my mother without him being a mama’s boy! hehe.