Week 37, Day 6
August 5, 2010

Dreaming of Sugary Sweet Leakage

My entire pregnancy, I had a lot of questions, doubts and fears, but there was one particular fear that didn’t bother me until my 3rd trimester and once I started thinking about it, it was a constant subconscious struggle. I would dream about it almost daily and when girlfriends talked about it, I would cringe…


For me, breastfeeding is a bond that a mother and child forms that lasts a lifetime. It’s something that no one else can do except me and allows me time to connect on another level with my child. It’s also a necessity. I know formula has come a long way and is perfectly fine for babies providing all the nutrients they need, but it’s still recommended if you can, to breastfeed your infant. My fear was that I wouldn’t be able to. I would have dreams where the baby arrives and the nurse is trying to teach me how to feed my child but nothing would come out. He would suck and cry and cry and eventually I would just sit there with him crying. In other dreams I would have strangers come and take my child and feed him from the bottle and it would tear my heart.

So imagine my excitement when I notice a sticky white residue on my nipples. At first I was surprised and kind of grossed out at the same time, but then I realize I am leaking colostrum, sometimes called premilk. Colostrum is a thick, yellowish or sometimes clear fluid that contains antibodies that help protect new babies from infections. If you choose to breastfeed, this precious liquid will nourish your baby until your milk comes in which isn’t typically until 24-48 hours after you have delivered. Colostrum has more protein, but less carbohydrate and fat than mature breast milk. It’s easy to digest and has just the right amount of nutrients a baby needs in the first few days after birth. The fact that I’m starting to leak it means that my body is producing and prepping to feed our little one. I was so excited I started to squeeze it out just to make sure I was right, and I was!

Breastfeeding is kind of a weird thing to fear not being able to do, especially when I know so many mothers who choose not to breast feed their babies because of pain, bleeding or just for other personal reasons but this is something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m still planning on pumping my breast milk and bottle feeding breast milk as well so daddy can feed as well, but when it comes to meal time, I can’t wait … it’ll be mommy and baby alone time!